Thursday, August 6, 2009

So Stupid I Had To Laugh And One Cute Little Boy

I work with the public, and as such I often hear stupid things come out out of the mouths of what I know to be intelligent people, and I often witness behavior that is appalling and stupid from same intelligent people.

This past week I have heard things come out the the mouths of adults that was so stupid my only way of dealing with it was to laugh. Had I not found it funny, I would be in the nut-house by now.

To avoid privacy issues the names, other than my own, of those involved have been changed in the following. Everything else is true, true, true.

Monday 9:30 AM, Rental Diva: Hey Boss, Piro is on the phone for you, she wants to know about her grill.

Me: Huh? Hello, this is Lynn, how can I assist you?

Piro: Hi Lynn, I just wanted to let you know that I got your letter about my grill, I can't have it on my patio, right? Well, I have moved it inside, but when I grill inside it gets all smokey and the carbon dioxide detector goes off. Can you please send maintenance over to disconnect the carbon dioxide detector for me? I would do it myself but I am too short, and I can't reach it.

Tuesday 2:00 PM, Deputy Jr. Sheriff, otherwise known and my APM: Hey, check it out, Mr. 7K is on the phone.

Me: Hello Mr. 7K, thank you for returning my call.

Mr. 7k: Hi. Yeah, I know why you're callin.

Me: You do?

Mr. 7K: U-huh, you're callin bout my rent. I know you've been patient with me, and I preciate it. I'm gonna pay you on Wednesday. I have a family trust fund that I can access, I just need to call my bro and ask him release the funds to me. I really did not want to have to do this, but I got a court order on my door yesterday, and dawg I really don't want to get evicted, and have all my shit put on the curb.

Me: Really? Well, thank your Mr. 7K, I appreciate that you will pay your rent on Wednesday. Would you like for me to look up your account and give you your total balance?

Mr 7K: Hola!

Me: Okay, Mr 7K, including all late fees and your water/sewer charges your total comes to $7384.59 in certified funds. We are open until 6:00PM on Wednesday, what time do you think you can come in to clear your account?

Mr. 7K: Um, Fo-Real, you gonna do me like that, you want certified funds, like a money order or somin? YOU CAN'T TAKE MY CHECK? FUCK YOU, BITCH!

Me, after Mr. 7K has hung up: Hola at ya back, Fo Sho!

Today 4:PM, Okay this exchange was not stupid but really cute.

Cute Little Boy: Mommy, I like it here, do it mommy, I want to live here.

Mommy to Cute Little Boy: Why do you like it here?

Cute Little Boy: Cuz, I got a Pop Sickle and the pretty ladies who work here have big boobies.


  1. Ok...first, let me tell you that because I too work with the public, I SO understand what you mean about STUPID!

    OY VEY!!!

    OMG...I laughed so hard at the second one on this post!!! I can't believe he owed you that much money!?!? I'm suprised you didn't evict him after the first month. In my apartment building, if you're one day past the grace's BYE-BYE!

    Really loved the last one too! Aren't kids the BEST??

  2. Ron, in the county I work in, you have to get 4 jugments before an eviction will take you can live rent free for about 6 months,and at the last minute, you can ask for help from the county and your rent just might get paid in full by the county.

    Kids are the best!

  3. I've worked with the public for 24 years, the level of stupidity they can Mr. 7K...and that they dont see that it eventually gets them crushed, or evicted.

    May I have a popsicle?