Changes. As I have gotten older change has become more difficult. At the beginning of the year I had a lot of hope and belief that change would bring something better than what 2008 turned out to be, and now 11 months into 2009 the only change for me has been that things are worse than ever. I thought that turning 40 would be a gateway for something better, something more exciting...something different, but no, turning 40 has not been so magical for me. The honest to God's truth is I have been very unhappy for a couple of years now, and turning 40 has nothing to do with my current state of mind because age is only a number.
I have come to the realization that I am drowning in a state of some kind of sadness that will not go away until I get to a place that has a support system for me. A hurricane of sadness with the power and force of Katrina hit me hard in August after my sister Debbie came to visit for a few days. When Debbie left I was so sad, and it was then that I realized how much I missed being with family. The past two months have been wrought with more sadness that continues to strengthen each day, and on the few good days that I have had, I still feel like I have lost my mind. By the grace of God I have a great family, and although I have not been around so much for the past 13 effing years my family is still there for me. I'm making a change. The condo goes on the market this week, and I'm moving to Memphis as soon as possible.
Hang in there. The older I get, the more I realize how important a great support system is, whether it's family or friends.
ReplyDeleteThe year's not over yet. Everything can turn on a dime. You just have to start by believing it can.
Hugs~
Thanks, Chrissy!
ReplyDelete@ Funny Girl. I haven't blogged for a while, but tonight after writing a bit I decided to check yours out. It is good to know that family is there, and no matter what next year brings, it is better to be with loved ones. Good luck.
ReplyDeleteBe strong! Good for you for making the realization of what it is that you need to make you happy!!! I wish you the best and bless you and your family.
ReplyDeleteIt's so great to see that you posted - I've really missed ya, FG!
ReplyDeleteI would like to ditto everything that Chrissy shared because she's right...
The years not over yet. Everything can turn on a dime.
You GO, girl...because if moving back to Memphis feels "right"...than it IS right.
X ya!
Thanks everyone. Your kind words of encouragmen are greatly appreciated. I'm reading everyone's blog at least twice a week, and when I get my head in a better place, I'll be back to posting and commenting on a regular basis.
ReplyDeleteA strong support system = EVERYTHING! You go girl, do what your heart tells you.
ReplyDeleteKeep on keepin' on . . . don't lose heart, things will get better.
ReplyDeleteIs that enough cliches? Just listen to those who you know are in your corner.
Oh, how I know what you are feeling. I moved back home after having my first baby because I just couldn't stand to be so far away from my family. Best decision of my life!
ReplyDeleteI LOVE Memphis! My boys and I went to Memphis a few summers ago and absolutely loved the history. And the barbeque.
Good luck with the move. I hope it brightens your spirits.
You know how sad I am about this, but I do believe it's the right thing for you for right now. As you know, I moved out to AZ, and came back after two years cause of family. You'll get through this and I'll help however I can . . . Love you girl!
ReplyDeleteHang in there girl....things can only get better right?!? ;o)
ReplyDeleteBest of luck, darlin'. I fins that bad times are ALWAYS followed by good times. You just have to wait for 'em and have faith that they're coming. It will get better, believe me.
ReplyDelete