Tuesday, January 26, 2010

My WTF Cyndi Ellis Moments

According to the Urban Dictionary, WTF is not an acronym for Wednesday, Thursday, Friday. It is however described as a moment where something so surprising or ridiculous happens that the onlooker can only exclaim, WTF. The acronym stands for "What The Fuck,"and it's most commonly used with a question mark at the end to get a point across, such as, WTF are you doing? However, when used with a exclamation point, it becomes an exclamation of amazement, confusion or bewilderment and disbelief. Both forms are often preceded by "dude". Dude, WTF are you on? or Dude, WTF! Just think of the several "WTF" moments Brett Farve has had when he has thrown the interception that hand delivered a win to the opposing team, or when you walk into Walmart and see big, fat, hairy, white Waltmart Guy in a t-shirt that says, "Please, Don't Just Use Me For My Big Dick." WTF can also be subtituted with Who/When/Where/Why, and How; just add the "TF" like this; Who-tf, or How-tf etc..

We experience WTF moments everyday, and when it happens to me it just feels good to say WTF! or WTF? For instance when the idiot who speeds up to pass me and then slows to 45 miles per hour on the freeway during rush hour, I simply say "Dude, WTF?" or when the Barista who no matter how many times Monday-Friday I order the same drink, (Ice Cafe Americano with vanilla and a shot of espresso), never and I mean NEVER remembers the vanilla, I say "Biotch, WTF!" It just feels good, don't know why but it does. Anyhoo, last Friday night/Saturday morning I was channel surfing in yet another state of insomnia, and I caught a wave on TV-Land. The show, High School Reunion, was just beginning so I decided to watch it because WTF! I can't sleep, and the high school being profiled is Chaparral High School, located in Las Vegas, Nevada, my hometown. WTF! I'll admit I was a bit giddy.

For those of you who are not familiar with the show allow me to bring you up to speed. The gist of the show is this, twenty years after graduation, 16 classmates from Chaparral High School's, Class of '89 reunite on the Hawaiian island of Kauai for two weeks to relive their high school glory days. The Football Star, The Ladies Man, The Nerd, The Gay Guy, The Cheerleaders, and the Hot Chicks,(who are known to everyone as "The Summer Girls"), all come together to see how much or how little things have changed in twenty years; old rivalries still hate each other, old flames seem to still have a spark for each other, and The Gay Guy outs himself to his childhood bully in the middle of nowhere, and on railroad tracks. WTF? Ahhhh, all the elements needed to put me to sleep because WTF this show is going to be a piece of crap, right? Nope! Well yes, the show is a piece of crap, but it did not become my Ambien for the night. Let me explain.

So here I am in a state of insomnia watching High School Reunion on TV-Land at 1:00 AM, and the cast is being introduced, Joe, The Football Star, John, The Trouble Maker, Lissette, Summer Girl#1, Lori, Cheerleader#1, Tracy, The Party/School Spirit Girl, Antanus, The Ladies Man, Elena, Summer Girl #2, and Rachelle, The Late Bloomer. All are assembled, and drinking themselves down memory lane when the last Black Ecalade pulls up, and a non-decrepit woman gets out and approaches the group of people she went to high school with twenty years ago. All are looking at her with "a Who-tf is she" look on their faces. The tipsy group ask among themselves, "Who is she, Do you know her, Is she at the right reunion?

WTF! This show is a piece of crap and it is doing what I thought it would; I'm getting sleepy, YES, come to momma sweet slumber, I'm ready. No! My sweet slumber is put off for the next hour when the non-decript woman, who is The Nerd, introduces herself to the group. "It's me, Cyndi Ellis" WTF! Now I'm wide awake, scrambling for the remote and my glasses; did I hear that right, did she say her name is Cyndi Ellis? Glasses on, volume high, and YES, OMG she did say Cyndi Ellis, and OMG, WTF! I KNOW HER, I KNOW CYNDI ELLIS! Yes, I know someone on a reality tv show, and WTF? This is not the only WTF Moment of the night for me. Near the end of the first episode, Cyndi reveals to camera that she has a secret that will blow the minds of her former classmates, in essence she has a secret that will give each a major WTF Moment. What is her secret you ask? Cyndi reveals to camera that at the age of 26 she became an exotic dancer in order to gain self confidence. WTF, Little Cyndi Ellis, the skinny and scrawny, crying, bed wetting step-cousin, who I used to play Charlies Angels with when I lived on Cinderella Lane, grew up to be a stripper? Now that is a WTF Moment, but not the last one of the day, that Little Cyndi Ellis brought me.

Saturday afternoon my sister, Coni, drops by for a visit. I don't know if I have ever mentioned Coni, my free-spirited sister who has a quirky sense of humor, just don't let her drink, she is on meds. So, Coni drops by for a visit and we chit-chat, drink wine, lots of wine, (Did I mention that you're not supposed to let Coni drink?), eat and look through family pictures. I came across one of me, Step-Mommy#1, and my Dad on their wedding day way back in '76. Coni and I are laughing so hard, tears are coming out of our eyes. I am wearing a long red dress with a high-neck lace collar; I look very Little House On The Prarie.

I then remember what I had seen on TV-Land duing my most recent fit of insomnia, and tell Coni that Little Cyndi Ellis grew up to be a stripper in order to gain more self confidence. Coni at first has a look of confusion on her face as she searches her memory of who-tf is Cyndi Ellis, then a sense of vague recognition crosses Coni's face, and she asks, "How-tf is Cyndi related to Step-Mommy#1? This is the way the rest of the conversation went:

Me: Cyndi Ellis is Step-Mommy#1 niece.

Coni: I never liked Step-Mommy#1

Me: I know, WTF?

Coni, Well, I just didn't like her and Dad was soooo stupid about her. I mean I don't know how he didn't know, and I am so glad they are divorced!

Me: What are you talking about, didn't know what?

Coni: Oh, come on, don't play dumb.

Me: Really, I don't know what you are talking about, so I'm not playing dumb, I just don't know.

Coni, Okay, I didn't like Step-Mommy#1 because she pretended to be something that she was not, and she had Dad, fooled.

Me: Like what? Come on, Coni!

Coni: You really don't know do you?

Me: No!

Coni: Back in the Rat-Pack days of Old Vegas, when Frank, Dino, Joey, and Sammy played the The Copa Room at The Sands Hotel, during the mid to late 60's when they were Hollywood and Vegas Royalty, Step-Mommy#1 was a high-class call girl who used to work that crowd.

Me: WTF, Coni! You know you are not supposed to mix booze with your meds. This is the last time I drink with you!

What's your WTF Moment?

Please note, I have no actual knowledge one way or the other if Step-Mommy#1 was a high class call girl who worked the Rat-Pack crowed, and nor does Coni, it is simply her drug induced opinion. What I do know is this, Coni never liked Step-Mommy #1, she does take meds, and she should never mix her meds with alcohol.

The girl in the picture is Cyndi Ellis.


  1. I love this story and openly admit I got sucked into high school reunion. I can't believe the nerd was a stripper AND she's bitter.

    I also wonder how much botox and plastic surgery the summer girls had done to them.

    I don't a WTF story that would even come close to this.

  2. @Little Miss, I will be watching the rest of the season because, I have a feeling that Cyndi has more than one secret to share. As for the Summer Girls, lots and lots of botox!

  3. I wasn't going to say anything, but I think the girl in the picture has her glasses on upside-down.


  4. @Knuckelhead, the girl in the picture is Cyndi Ellis.

  5. OMG, Funny Girl...this was HYSTERICAL!

    And I was going to ask if that photo was you or Cyndi Ellis!?!

    Yeah...she definitely looks like a stripper.


    As you know...I love using WTF. It's perfect for so many things you want to express, when you can't actually use the words.

    ..." "Please, Don't Just Use Me For My Big Dick."...


    Great post, FG!

  6. @Ron, go to to the upper right side of my page and click on Walmart Funnies, and scan through the pictures. There is a picture of Walmart Guy...I'm SERIOUS, WTF?

  7. Totally funny post! I laughed all the way through. I love WTF! I use it all the time. I'm glad you're giving it the recognition it deserves.

  8. I am trying to find my Cyndi Ellis!
    She was a quaterback in jr high in Arkansas and we used to date for a short time but broke up over a rumor.
    Just want to say hi to her after not seeing her for over 30+ years.